No Hurry 10/07

I'm not really in a hurry
I'm being judged by a jury
If you want I can wait
It won't ever be too late

You must know how I feel
But this has to be real
I don't want you to fake it
This is your chance, take it

I'm waiting for you to
To say if you do too
You can take your time
You know I'm on your side

It's all up to you
You know I'll stay here
I'm just standing here
I'm beginning to fear

But I will stand firm
I will stand still
You could choose her
I'll be here still

Waiting on Him 10/07

You're drivin' me crazy
Don't know what to do
Won't you please just ask me
Before I turn blue?


I'm holding my breath here
I'm holding on tight
Uncertain, I feel fear
Don't know if I'm right

By now you must know it
how I look at you
How could you not notice
How I just want you?

So please make up your mind
Stand and pick your side
Tonight it's hers or mine
Choose what you know is right

Just Found This Picture

I had no idea this picture even existed, but here it is now. This is me, Mary, and my cousin Raquel in Washington state in August at the Family Reunion.

Banners

I designed these two banners using Adobe Photoshop for my school's website.

Falling For You

V1:
You seemed so perfect then
With the qualities of men
But now you've shown your other side
The side that comes out at night

Chorus
The you I thought I knew
It wasn't you at all
And now I'm trying to
Make sense of it all

I fell for
The sweeter side of you
I fell for
The little things you do
I fell for
the you I thought I knew

V2:
There's another girl now
The jealousy I feel now
Don't let that bottle go to waste
Drown your worries take a taste

Chorus
The you I thought I knew
It wasn't you at all
And now I'm trying to
Make sense of it all

I fell for
The sweeter side of you
I fell for
The little things you do
I fell for
the you I thought I knew


V3:
If I don't go with you
If you were drunk what would you do?
I want to hold you but would you
Want more from me than I do?

Chorus
The you I thought I knew
It wasn't you at all
And now I'm trying to
Make sense of it all

I fell for
The sweeter side of you
I fell for
The little things you do
I fell for
the you I thought I knew

Get Back Up

V1: I don't wanna give up
I wanna go on
Stepping further away
I know it feels wrong
But I'm moving forward
I won't hold on
I'm letting go and
I'm writing this song

Chorus
So let go of me
Let me be where I need to be
Let me see what I need to see
Just let go of me
I want to be who I need to be
I need to run when I fall to my knees
Please let go of me

V2: I will pull away
I'll find my own way
It isn't too late
And it wasn't a waste
You know I can't stay
So don't ask me to wait
Don't ever forget me
Please try to walk straight

Just let go of me
Let me be where I need to be
Let me see what I need to see
Just let go of me
I want to be who I need to be
I need to run when I fall to my knees
Please let go of me

V3: If only I'd said
If only you knew
But I never did
And you have no clue
Even now as I leave you
This still is true
I really loved you
I hope you did too

But let go of me
Let me be where I need to be
Let me see what I need to see
Just let go of me
I want to be who I need to be
I need to run when I fall to my knees
Please let go of me

Standing Still

V1: Why won't you look at me?
Why won't you look into my eyes?
Why can't you let me be?
Why do you make me bleed?

Chorus
And still I surrender
I can't look away
Still I remember
I don't know what to say

V2: Why do you pass me by?
Why do you think that I
Don't care, I tried to try
But you don't know what's right

And still I surrender
I can't look away
Still I remember
I don't know what to say

V3: I want to say this now
It's just I don't know how
I'm standing in a crowd
Underneath a thundercloud.

And still I surrender
I can't look away
Still I remember
I don't know what to say
I don't know what to say

When You Fall [8/07]

Chorus
When you fall I cry, I cry
When you fall I cry, I cry
With open arms I try
You turn your back, I cry.

V1: You're so beautiful, so strong
So arrogant, so wrong
You don't see me through the throng
I've been waiting all along

When you fall I cry, I cry
When you fall I cry, I cry
With open arms I try
You turn your back, I cry.

V2: You stand up straight and tall
Next to you I seem so small
When your sprint becomes a crawl
Will you see me at all?

When you fall I cry, I cry
When you fall I cry, I cry
With open arms I try
You turn your back, I cry.

V3: I'll always be right there
Waiting for you next nightmare
Run to me, I know you're scared
Right here my soul is bared.

Breaking Free

Chorus
I thought I was lost
I thought it was over
But I finally broke free
Of your hold over me
I'm breaking free
Of this shadow over me
I don't have to lie down and bleed
Anymore, I'm breaking free

V1: No longer in bondage
At last I'm free
Shackled to the ball
That was you and me

I thought I was lost
I thought it was over
But I finally broke free
Of your hold over me
I'm breaking free
Of this shadow over me
I don't have to lie down and bleed
Anymore, I'm breaking free

V2: Imprisoned by love
Stuck indefinitely
Locked to a broken dream
Till I found the key

I thought I was lost
I thought it was over
But I finally broke free
Of your hold over me
I'm breaking free
Of this shadow over me
I don't have to lie down and bleed
Anymore, I'm breaking free

V3: Thought I'd never be free
I was frozen in time
I let my heart bleed
Afraid to go on

I thought I was lost
I thought it was over
But I finally broke free
Of your hold over me
I'm breaking free
Of this shadow over me
I don't have to lie down and bleed
Anymore, I'm breaking free

Learn to Let Go

V1: I'll get by without you there
Is the pain too much to bear
You've hurt me this way
More than words will say

CHORUS
You don't even know
Your greatest sin
You have no clue
That I even miss you
First you were there
Then you were gone
Never a kiss
And never a song

V2: I'm outside of time
Watching you fly
You're fine without me
While I can't sleep

You don't even know
Your greatest sin
You have no clue
That I even miss you
First you were there
Then you were gone
Never a kiss
And never a song

V3: Just get out of my head
And stay out of her bed
I'm filled with regret
I've left things undone

You don't even know
Your greatest sin
You have no clue
That I even miss you
First you were there
Then you were gone
Never a kiss
And never a song

V4: The torture I'm put through
Each and every day
You don't understand
The price that I'm payin
For my mistakes

Someday I'll wake up
From this nightmare
And realize I messed up
this whole affair
I'll finally move on
I'll go on with my life
They call me a blonde
I'll stop crying at night.

You didn't know
Your greatest sin
You had no clue
That I ever missed you
Once you were there
Now finally you're gone
We never kissed
Never danced to this song.

Telling the Truth

It's read the latest songs Katy's written time. So here it goes.

Chorus
I want to hold you
I want you to be mine
But instead you choose them
And it kills me inside

V1: I'm standing right here
Begging you to see
That I love you
And I wish you'd love me

I want to hold you
I want you to be mine
But instead you choose them
And it kills me inside

V2: You thought you were in love
You thought she was faithful
It all fell through
She cheated on you

I want to hold you
I want you to be mine
But instead you choose them
And it kills me inside.

V3: Now you're picking up girls
As fast as the pieces
You drink to forget her
You're changing your faces

I want to hold you
I want you to be mine
But instead you choose them

V4: I sit watching you die
She broke your heart
The pain makes you cry
You're dying inside

Ch2: I want to hold you close
Want to dry the tears you cry
But instead you chose them
And it kills you inside.

Forgotten Heroes

I've been sending letters to a soldier in Iraq named David. Every month I send a packet of letters and every few months I send him a box of Rolling Stone Magazine. There's all these soldiers in Iraq, and to us they are faceless. I have no family members or loved ones over there fighting a war. But there are so many people who do. To them, these nameless soldiers are loved ones who are in dangerous situations 24/7. Just because we don't know who our heroes are doesn't mean we can't appreciate them. I can't go through a day without thinking about such trivial things as the guy I like or pair of jeans I want to buy. And I don't think that often of the men and women fighting in Iraq. They go on, unthanked, forgotten, fighting a war for a country that doesn't want them there, and then they come back to poor medical care and political messes.

If you'd like to help our soldiers in Iraq, let me know. Writing letters, saying thanks, and letting those men know they're appreciated can do so much. If you'd like to write a letter to David, please send it to

katyjoy_777@hotmail.com

Our soldiers are thousands of miles away from home, living in extreme conditions, trying to live through the days and nights. They deserve thank yous and support from us, and more. Help let a soldier know we support them and are praying for them.

The Dust Storm

Winds are still blowing at high speeds, and fires are still burning to the east and west of us. The wind picked up the loose dust and ash from the ground and swept it into town. If anyone saw the movie Hidalgo, you might remember the scene in which the cowboy runs away from a sand storm. Today's dust storm looked like that. Driving to drive through it was impossible, I couldn't even see the road, let alone other cars.
















The storm blows into town





















Ash, dust and dirt make a nasty combination
















Right before the storm actually hit.
















This was when the dust wasn't so thick. Everything but the taillights was pretty much invisible.

The Damage

This is a street near where I live. My house is behind that tree.














This is the sagebrush on the right side of the road.















This is the left side of the road.































The fire jumped street several times. We were unimaginably lucky that it didn't jump our street. If it had jumped from the left to the right side of the street (an ember blown by the high winds was all that it would have taken) our house would have gone up in flames.

Wildfires

I live in a high desert environment in northern Nevada. This means that sagebrush and other scrub bushes blanket the land for hundreds of miles in every direction. In the hot, dry summers, this brush turns to tinder, eager to be lit by the smallest ember. Our tiny town was the definition of a fire hazard. On Friday, a high wind began to blow, accompanying the thunderstorm that would begin the siege on Winnemucca.

Winnemucca lies between to parallel rows of mountains. The town has spread out; housing developments now dot the mountainsides. Thunderstorms bring lightning, and when lightning strikes the fire-hungry ground, blazes spring up. Friday evening, the mountains were dotted with fires, that were soon under control. Saturday morning dawned, bringing with it fresh winds, awakening the smoldering embers.

By Saturday afternoon, the devouring blazes were too large for Winnemucca's small fire-fighting force to control. A 12,000 acre fire was only two percent contained, and the blazes would soon begin to threaten houses. The call went out for backup from the surrounding areas. Being a resident of one of the many housing developments on the mountainsides, I was worried about the vast feast of sagebrush that was my backyard.

As the fires moved closer, evacuation procedures began. The drone of planes flying overhead could be heard, and the glow of fires was barely discernible through the thick, choking smoke that enveloped the town, blotting out the sun. Volunteers in pickup trucks and on foot told us to get out and get out fast. In order to save all of our cars, our family all drove separate cars. I took Mary with me and we headed for a friend's house, far away from danger. I sped away from the house and the fire, down the hill, smoke obscuring my vision, as my sister sobbed in fear of the flames closing in on us. I attempted to stay calm in order to drive straight, but I had to grip the steering wheel to stop my hands from shaking.

We watched our hill from afar for three hours as the cloud of smoke continued to thicken. The unbroken sirens were a constant reminder of the danger close at hand. As the time crawled by, I couldn't help remembering the things I'd left behind. My art, boxes of photos, letters, and other sentimental valuables that were irreplaceable. Rumors trickled down to us through a grapevine of sources until we were informed that we were allowed to return to our street. We drove cautiously back, prepared for the worst. It was nine-thirty at night, but the stars were veiled from sight by impenetrable clouds. Our house was all in one piece, although it was filled with noxious smoke. We aired out the house and lit scented candles to cover the pungent odor. From my front door I could still see huge tracts of land being consumed by flames, not too far from my house.

Sunday morning, the fire moved on to the east and west of us. Smoke can still be seen rising to meet its turbid brothers. So far the fire has burned around 250,000 acres. It is the middle of July in sunny Nevada, but clouds cover the sky. The scars of the blazes can be seen. While one side of the road is filled with sagebrush, the other looks like the surface of the moon. Charred telephone poles and the blackened remains of a shed are reminders of the destructive force of a fire.

I will never forget the fear I felt the night of July 7th, 2007. I will never forget the love of friends and family, who gathered with us and called us and prayed with us. I will never forget how it felt to not know if I would have a home in a few hours or not. If you prayed for me, or supported me during that time of fear, thank you so much.

Much love,

Katy



PS: Pictures will be coming soon.

Dear People of the World:

At this very moment, I am being asked to evacuate from my home. The fires aren't too close, but they are close enough that the neighborhood is shrouded in fog. Some people are leaving right away, others are staying around long enough to turn on their sprinklers on and wet down their timber-dry land. We have about half and acre of land behind our house that is pure tinder, just waiting for a spark. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little scared, a little freaked. But my adrenaline is going crazy. One of our neighbors, Tom, is staying behind. Apparently, he used to be a fire fighter and he has a fire hose in his garage. He plans to defend his block from any fires. He's pretty BA. I don't know how much land is on fire, but I know it's more than 10,000 acres. The planes are going by overhead. The police have set up a roadblock on our street. There are rumors of fires everywhere. The wind is blowing and who knows what might happen. Pray for me, for my friends, many of whom have already evacuated, and for my house. I love you guys.

Washington

Hi people! I'm actually writing this from the Arlington library in Washington State! I'm visiting Washington until next Tuesday and then I'll be heading back home. But Mary and I will be bringing my friend Lacey back with us to visit Nevada.

Early Sunday morning around 5 or 6, Peter, Mary, and I headed off on a 12-hour adventure driving up to the state of Washington. We stopped twice and- yes, I said TWICE in TWELVE flipping hourse- then we finally arrived in our onld neighborhood in Lake Stevens. Peter met up with Sam, Ty, and Theron and they hung out. Mary and I saw Amy again and that was cool.

Then we met up with my aunt who lives only a few blocks away from our old house. We hung out with Laurie, Greg, and my cousin, John, and spent the night at their house. Monday morning, John, Mary, and I said hello to all of our old friends from Lake Stevens. (Hello to Andrew, Adam, Aaron, and Kaylee!) We walked around Lake Stevens and visited our old haunts, HomeLink, the Library, the Lake, and the little coffee shop. (Which I highly recommend by the way. Get a triple chocolate chip mocha blended coffee. They're excellent.) Also, I checked out my old house and noticed that our old treehouse in the back has been completely demolished along with our porch. But they built a new one. And the apple tree, which was planted for my grandpa, is getting really big! I'm expecting to be able to climb it in a couple more years.

Monday night we all attended the HomeLink graduation at the LSHS. It was awesome. We saw old friends and old teachers, and met a lot of new people too. Peter and Sam were reunited and played onstage as music. It was pretty much AMAZING. I cried when Sam graduated, actually his graduation slideshow had pictures of my brothers and the boys back together and I was sad. But anyway. Afterward, I went up to Sam and I said, "Sam, congratulations! I'm so proud of you!" and to my surprise, he responded, "Don't say that, don't say you're proud of me." Taken aback, I asked why not. He promptly told me that he doesn't consider graduating from High School to be that big of an accomplishment. It sort of hit me then that he was right. We make such a big deal out of making it through high school and "overcoming all the obstacles", but really it's not all that difficult to read a few books and take a few tests.

The real challenge is yet to come. We're young and we have so much ahead of us, you guys. We have college, relationships, break-ups, marriages, and so much more that's so much more important than those four years of high school that will be left far behind us. High School doesn't make us who we are. We do that.

Remember that, guys. I'll see you in a few weeks, Winnemuccites.

It Doesn't Need Much Explaining

The New School Prayer

Author Unknown

Now I sit me down in school
where praying is against the rule
For this great nation under God
finds mention of Him very odd.

If scripture now the class recites
it violates the Bill of Rights.
And any time my head I bow
becomes a Federal matter now.

Our hair can be purple, orange, or green,
that's no offense, it's a freedom scene.
The law is specific, the law is precise
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.

For praying in a public hall
might offend someone with no faith at all.
In silence alone we must meditate
God's name is prohibited by the state.

We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks
And pierce our noses, tongues, and cheeks.
They've outlawed guns but first the Bible
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We'll elect a pregnant Senior Queen
and the unwed daddy our Senior King.
It's "inappropriate" to teach right from wrong
We're taught that such "judgments" don't belong.

We can get our condoms and birth control,
study witchcraft, vampires, and totem poles.
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed
no word of God may reach this crowd.

It's scary here I must confess.
When chaos rules the school's a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot, my soul please take.

Amen.

Thank You

It is certainly strange to see how far I've come this past year. I've grown so much as a person, as a student, and as a friend and confidant. Last year I was a frightened freshmen, entering high school, entering the public school system, for the first time. I didn't know the routine, the students, the campus, or the teachers. I was scared, timid, and shy. Now, I would be virtually unrecognizable to some who once knew me. I have become bold in speaking what I think. I don't hesitate before making the right decision. My self-esteem is high to the point of vanity and egotism. And I am confident. Confident to speak in front of large groups of people. Confident enough to be able to laugh at myself along with everyone else instead of standing in embarrassed silence. Confident enough to live life and not let it pass me by. Confident enough to take opportunities that I would have been too afraid of last year.

I've learned important lessons about procrastination, hard work, and all-nighters. I can survive a full day of high school and enjoy it. I'm able to juggle school activities, church activities, and my homework. I've learned a lot in all of my classes this year, and I've had some of the best teachers to learn from. I've been challenged, stretched, and pushed to my limits and beyond, causing me to step up to the plate. I can be a leader and make my voice heard. Throughout a year of impossible homework loads, crazy schedules, and drama in and out of school, I've been able to maintain a 4.0 GPA.

Even more important than school, I've come to know so many people so much better. I'm learning that sometimes it's better to listen than to speak. And when to keep my mouth shut when I really want to scream. How to deal with rumors and haters, what to do in difficult situations, and that making the right decision and be the hardest thing I'll ever have to do. I've learned that grudges never helped anybody, they only hurt. I know that a smile is the best way to tell people you're there for them. I've learned how far a hug can go. I understand that being a friend is the greatest joy and sometimes the greatest tragedy. I know how important it is to keep a secret; what a privilege it is to be trusted and what betrayal can do to a relationship. I've seen break ups, get-back-togethers, fist fights, broken hearts, broken homes, hurt feelings, and rocky friendships, and I've been there when people need me.

I never could be the person I am today without the help of my friends. I would never be so bold, so confident, or so strong for my friends without my friends. You guys have been there for me. You taught me lessons and let me be a part of your lives. And that's my privilege. Thanks for allthe great times, guys. Thanks for all the laughter, the smiles, the looks, the fun. Thanks for the tears; thanks for the lessons, and thanks for your shoulders, your helping hands. Thanks for being the journal I pour my life story into. Thanks for listening, for caring, for the hugs and the encouragement. Know that I love all of you. You know who you are. Know that you can say anything to me and I'll understand. I would never have made it to this place without you. So once again...

Thanks.


Lacey Mary Brett Jayme Keshia Austin Katie Zach Brad Pete Chase Su Kirstie Tay Daniel Brad Kristen Teasha Kristen Shayla Lindsey Tim Hayley Sophie Kole Lindsay Michael Karl Eren Courtney Cassaundra Joey Freddy Dawson Anderson Beck Doyle Connor Grady Christy Sarah EC Kendra Ashley Angela Marcus Shane Early Kaitlin Vance Stephan Chris David

One of Those Inspiration Things...

Wrath

I was outside the marketplace when I felt the first tremor. Everyone around me froze, but at the next tremor, which rocked the merchant's stalls, the square erupted into chaos. Women screamed, children wailed, men ran, fleeing for their lives as the buildings around them began to topple to the ground. As we were inside the city, at the very heart of it, there wasn't any place to go that wasn't filled with tall, stone structures. The very places we had called our homes, our refuges, had been transformed into our deadliest enemies. With each new rumble from deep withing the earth's belly, cracks shot up buildings and, groaning and complaining, the stones would collapse, crushing those unfortunates taking refuge in its doorway.

I let the crowd sweep me down the street, through the gates, and out of the city. I kept my head though as men, women, and children on either side of me slowed or faltered and were sucked under the crowd and crushed by the merciless feet of those who fled the horrors behind. I, and perhaps fifteen others, quickly jumped down into the would-be cellar of a house yet to be built. The earth beneath our feet shuddered and raged angrily. The shrieks of those on whom the crumbling towers fell were terrible. But even more so were the piteous moans and cries of those who were in so much agony, but still alive. We, in our fortress of dirt, sat huddled with our heads upon our knees, sometimes thrusting our heads over the top of the cellar to call to someone sprinting away, calling them to safety. Terrified, some could do nothing but babble nonsense to their gods. Other crushed their knees to their bosoms, tears falling from tightly shut eyes, frozen with fear.

It was really only a few minutes later that the ground finally stopped shifting about. It felt strange. That is the only way to describe it. Imagine you are bobbing in a boat in the middle of the sea, when suddenly the sea stops its motion. To have the ground no longer move, the momentary silence; the absence of the screams of those trapped underneath beams or blocks; that relief was strange and welcome. We, the group of people crouched in the open cellar, whose number had grown to twenty or so, began to stand up and several even smiled.

As soon as we began lifting each other out of the hole, the smiles vanished, replaced with shock and horror. Mothers pressed their children's faces to their shoulders to hide from the the horrific sight that met our eyes. The city was gone, leveled. All that remained was a section of the east outer wall. All else was merely rubble. The destruction, the desolation; it was just so great, so widespread. It took your breath away to see it. As we began the search for survivors, it became apparent that it was only our group and a few other clusters of people who remained relatively uninjured. The silence had long ago again been filled with the groans of the dying, the yells of those crying for rescue, the wailing of the women who had discovered their husbands' bodies. What was this wrath so terrible, so divine that the earth itself quaked in fear?