Late Night Thoughts

I feel that I must write poems

and sweep broad strokes of paint

and sleep is just so boring

when I am composing

these kinds of paintings

in my head

besides

this bed is cold

and

I don't sleep well alone

I can let him go because I love him more than I ever loved our relationship

But missing him still sucks

When Biden said "We are leaving. We are leaving."

I cried.

Because one of my best friends has been in and out of Afghanistan fighting for the last four years since he got out of high school.

And our president wants to bring him home.

I have not written anything in...way too long. It's strange.

I think it’s because when I write, I write from a very personal place.

And so sometimes I don’t know what to say, or how to say it, because sometimes feelings don’t have a name

And sometimes even if they do have a name, I am afraid to name them, or write them down, because then they have to be real and tangible. They aren’t feelings anymore, they’re words.

I really need to write.

I know that I am not like other people. Is that because there's something wrong with other people? Or that there's something wrong with me?

Writer's block. Not a fan.

There are these two boys who sit in the back

of my English class

Preaching in plaid

shirts and reminding us that

This country should be so much more

I do not understand English majors who complain about having to read and write a lot for their English class.

You're an English major. You're studying reading and writing of the English language, right?

Today was not my favorite day.

I worked all day instead of enjoying the sun. And just discovered that my "little lab assignment" due by midnight is not little at all, but is a heinous monster of an assignment that will probably take me like three days to complete.