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As it turns out life is complicated and messy and gritty and dirty. Call it simple or easy if you want, but you're lying to yourself to feel better. It's hard growing up in today's world, it's hard having friends who betray you or families that are hard to like. We all need those everlasting friends and those moments of clarity where we see our lives flash before us, and those times to be completely carefree. As we crash through the jungle of this life, we all steal a few hearts and break a few bones. But hey. That's life right?

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Questions, questions from Winnemucca

How am I to look to the future when my heart lingers behind? My heart and soul are still very much in Washington. This new land is so different from the home that I left. There are no vast fields of evergreen trees, there is only an endless brown wasteland where scrub bushes are the only things that grow. No cool breezes come to refresh. There is only hot, humid, stale air that is hard to breathe. There is no "home" to come home to. There is only a tiny hotel room packed with all four of us kids and our "essentials''. How can I call this new place home? Do I even want to? These are questions that I do not want to know the answers to. You know what? Deep down in my heart, I am so attatched to Washington, I love my home so much, that I'm not ready to replace it with Winnemucca. I'm not ready to get used to breathing hot, humid air, I don't want to live amidst a wasteland where the only thing to break the horizon is not a tree, but power lines and casinos. Can I do it? Can I make it through? I know I will be changed at the end of this journey, but will I be better or will I be worse? And most importantly, at the end of this journey, where will I be?
Your Soul-Prying Blogger,

Katy

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